Bad Love Poem (Jayne Cobb to Vera) :D

This was written for the Love Sick Bad Poetry Challenge at Whedonland where I got first place. We had to write a bad love poem in the voice of someone in Whedonverse. I figured that if Jayne Cobb ever got it into his head to write a love poem, it would a) be to a gun and b) be really bad. Thus, I give you...

Ode to Vera

I love you, Vera.
You’re my special one.
And the best thing of all—
you are a really big gun.

You’re the toughest gal
I will ever meet.
Except you’re not exactly a gal,
‘cause you don’t have hands nor feet.

Mal and the others,
they don’t understand
How nice you feel
when I hold you in my hands.

I will whisper sweet nothings
and clean you up all nice
‘cause when I shoot stuff up,
I like that you fire real precise.

Yes, I love you, Vera.
You’re so good to me.
And I have lots of other guns
So that’s very complimentary.

!!!

THERE'S A HAWAII FIVE-O LAND COMM!!!

/land comms rock