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A Few Helpful Tips for Midwestern Drivers
Oct. 7th, 2007 02:38 pm1) Let's say you're driving down the road, and you see a speed limit sign that says, "45." Did you know that you can actually drive 45 miles an hour? That's right! I know it's confusing, since the sign does say speed "limit," but believe it or not, you can drive the whole 45 miles an hour!
2) Let's say you're watching Wild Hogs, and you start thinking that Tim Allen looks like he's having a lot of fun. Does that mean you need to run out and buy your own motorcycle? No! In fact, if you identify with Tim Allen, that's probably a sign that you shouldn't go out and buy a motorcycle. I know the movie was funny, especially the parts where William H. Macy was spooning everyone and where the guy from Scrubs wanted to have a group orgy with the other guys. But it's just a movie. Real people in the real world don't want to drive 30 miles an hour behind a group of weekend road hogs who ride in a cluster so they can talk at stop lights.
And for crying out loud, wear a helmet. I don't want to see your brains splattered all over the road if you get into an accident.
3) Let's say you're driving your car down the road, and you're late for a manicure. Is it appropriate to drive down the center of the road? No! In fact, most roads are typically designed so that cars can travel down both sides of the road, depending on which direction they're headed! I don't want to have to swirve my car out of the way because you're too busy talking on the cell phone to realize you're driving down the middle of the road.
/rant
2) Let's say you're watching Wild Hogs, and you start thinking that Tim Allen looks like he's having a lot of fun. Does that mean you need to run out and buy your own motorcycle? No! In fact, if you identify with Tim Allen, that's probably a sign that you shouldn't go out and buy a motorcycle. I know the movie was funny, especially the parts where William H. Macy was spooning everyone and where the guy from Scrubs wanted to have a group orgy with the other guys. But it's just a movie. Real people in the real world don't want to drive 30 miles an hour behind a group of weekend road hogs who ride in a cluster so they can talk at stop lights.
And for crying out loud, wear a helmet. I don't want to see your brains splattered all over the road if you get into an accident.
3) Let's say you're driving your car down the road, and you're late for a manicure. Is it appropriate to drive down the center of the road? No! In fact, most roads are typically designed so that cars can travel down both sides of the road, depending on which direction they're headed! I don't want to have to swirve my car out of the way because you're too busy talking on the cell phone to realize you're driving down the middle of the road.
/rant
